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jeffa (4331)

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Bio? I was never adept in biology ... is this going to affect my reputation or something?

Journal of jeffa (4331)

Thursday May 19, 2005
10:05 AM

early to bed, early to rise ...

... go to bed at 4am in the morning ... and you are lucky to wake up before noon. I got up around 8:30 ... made it to work at 10pm. Needless to say, i'll be staying till about 6 or 7pm tonight. Unless i just really knock out some logic today.

Last night was a blast, but i was quite sad by the time i made it home. It was past my bedtime and i was sooo ready to go to bed. Sleep, not sex -- although i did talk to some cute girls last night. Wouldn't know what to do with the fish if i caught it anyways.

The night started off with listening to Intrepid make a fool of himself on Perlmonks. I even /borg'ed him ... first time i've ever sicked the NodeReaper on anyone besides myself. (I do love to play the "Evil Clown.") I hurried off to Sapporo's for a nice dinner of Sukuyaki and beer with my friend Mike. He had not sold his ticket for Doves/Mercury Rev show, and seeing as how i missed the PerlSymNY meeting due to thinking it was last night ... i bought his extra ticket ($35). Glad i did. Both bands were incredible -- i'll be buying some of their CD's soon. Before the Doves started playing, however, i had another one of those dudes that brings his girl to the show, and then proceedes to suck the energy from everyone around him and lavish it on her. There was a hole in fron of me, and they filled it. They had plenty of room to fill it, yet there was his arm in my chest. I tapped him on the shoulder, looked him evilly in his eye and politely asked "Could you please move forward?" He looked disappointed that someone would actually tell him to do something. I could see "How dare you?" form in his mind, but i never blinked ... and he moved forward. Then the band started with "Stomp" ... and pogo did he. He kept pushing back, thinking i would succomb and give him the space he so did not deserve. Instead, i pushed into him. I yawped and clapped as hard as i could ... right in his ear. That prick who probably bought his ticket for $100 (it was a sold out show and my buddy Mike knows how to buy online) finally got the message and he and his girlfriend shot off forward into the crowd. I waved my hand right behind his head as scurried away. Sure, he probably could have kicked my ass ... but that's not the point. Stand up for yourself. Do not let the pricks have their way. Besides, the Doves are a Manchester band. You don't suck energy from a Manchester band ... you give it back.

My cow-owrker's band (June Fool) was suppose to start at 11:15pm at the Delancy. The Doves would not finish until 11:15pm. I had to leave during their last song, regretfully. Mike told me to take a cab. It was the first cab i have taken by myself in the City, and i could care less if i ever take another one again. I'd rather walk. I made it to the Delancy at 11:00pm ... but Cris (my cow-orker) and his bandmates got screwed. They wouldn't go on until 2am in the morning. That would have been fine with me had the band before them not completely sucked. They were good musicians, they were probably nice people (well, except the chick singer -- rude), they were tight, they were on key ... their music was just ... they just didn't get it! These are the people who shouldn't be making music. June Fool however, was damn good. Very moody stuff. I'm kinda glad i made it at 11pm because i did get to catch the band, Air Guitar Magazine. What a hoot they were! Bass, drums, and two trumpet players. They passed out blow-up floater guitars and let the audience convulse with them. The band members wore silly costumes and played even sillier music. It was, as host BP Fallon himself said ... f'in brilliant!

I met an interesting chap at the show. He reminded me of Alex Ogburn, an ex-bandmate of mine. "A++ type" personality ... has to have everyone's attention. He kept trying to hook me up with some of the cute girls at the show, but i was just too self-contained to even try and socialize with bar-girls. They aren't my type anyway ... they smoke cigarettes. I hate cigarette smoke. That knocks out about 85% of the girls that show up to clubs, and the remaining 15% have steady boyfriends. Oh well ... i only show up to the shows to see the bands and more importantly ... hear the music. I am a musician, not a player. Girls at clubs are only good for one night stands and those pricks in the 70's ruined for everyone. Got protection?

Time for work ... gotta earn my keep.
Wednesday May 18, 2005
08:04 AM

them crazy dreams ...

Wild crazy dreams ... i went to bed early last night in hopes being able to last the long day ahead of me. I really want to finish up my current project today (due this Friday) and the perlsemny meeting is tonight. Not to mention my cow-orkers band is playing late tonight and i simply have to see them. My friend had a spare ticket to go see the Doves tonight, but i had already promised to go see my cow-oker's band play.

Last night i watched 'Primer' ... i highly recommend everyone who reads this to check it out. It solves its problems of not exactly making the ends meet with good old obfuscation. Great flick!

Them crazy dreams ... why is it that i have these panick attacks in my dreams? Rhetorical question, but if i can solve that problem, i think most of my social problems would simply go away. Its a test you see ... dealing with lonliness. Most simply confide in a spouse -- they find one, enter a co-dependent relationship, and deal with fixing the symptom, not the problem. Ultimately, i think the problem is about death. Scary, frightening stuff. The major panick attack last night was that i was walking in a circle with a group of people. I wasn't really suppose to be there in the first place, but i was welcome. It was sort of a graduation ceremony, but you know how dreams get all ... fuzzy. While walking, i suddenly found my legs starting to freeze up, and i couldn't walk. I was able to step away from the line, however, and let everyone pass on by. Needless to say, i didn't get to follow to the ceremony, but then again ... i wasn't really suppose to be there in the first place.

Perhaps it was the line to Carrousel, a la "Logan's Run" ... :)
Tuesday May 17, 2005
08:42 AM


I started reading 'On The Road' by Kerouac this past Sunday night. Yesterday after work, after finding out that my father did *not* send me the money he owes me from the car sales, and with less than $20 in my checking account, i decided to charge a $35 plate of chirashi on the credit card. Afterwards, i sat down in Union Square park and read about 50 pages from said book. Some guy was shouting in his megaphone, saying something to likes of "Bush is afriad of you!" ... I highly doubt that.

I feel like a slug this morning. Got to work a little later than usual, but i'm still 'on time.' Just called my dad to make sure that he's gonna put the money in today, like he was suppose to yesterday. I checked my bank account, and sure enough the bastards had some pending transactions 'hiding in the cracks' ... no-one can convince me that they do not do that on purpose. I didn't go in the red, and even if i did that does not justify them charging me $20 per "overdraft" ... it's all electronic, there is no paperwork anymore. I'm switching to a credit union ASAP!

Last night i watched Milton Moses Ginsberg's "Coming Apart" with Rip Torn and Sally Kirkland. Quite the mind $%^#. I was recommended this film from a chap over at's Film General forum, the topic was "What was the first film to drop the F-Bomb?" While that question may never be definitevely answered, this is surely one of the first. It was a film way ahead of its time.

Today i took the A train down to Columbus Circle and transfered to the B. Dropped me off at Herald Square. Not sure how much time this took, as today i left the cell phone at home. I hate cell phones. It is no wonder so many girls and hipsters use them like security blankets on the streets. They isolate themselves from the strangers surrounding them by attaching themselves to the same people they always talk to. Never bothering to meet new people. I carry mine only because ... i have to. Can't escape everything. What am i running from? The technology that puts food on my table. Crazy, huh?

I'd better get to work.
Monday May 16, 2005
09:22 AM

Thus Begins Week 4

Friday night i met up with Spencer (sporty on PerlMonks) for some pints at St. Andrew's. His girlfriend joined us later on and we had some heated conversations on religion, life, and love. I'm not about to repeat the conversation here, but i will say that i had good time. I do fear that i will drink more than i have been in the past 10 or so years. Not having to drive, while potentially limiting one's opportunities in most areas, liberates -- at the same time. I suddenly feel more grounded and weightless. Back in Nashville, just before i moved up here, i was talking with a girl who used to live in NYC. She was happy to have a car now, "I was so sick and tired of waiting for sub. Waiting for bus. Waiting for a cab. Waiting, waiting, waiting!" Sure ... now she waits in traffic, in the comfort of her own prison. It's not about waiting, it's about relief of control. Control that turns around and controls you.

So ... back to events. I took off by myself to see 4 bands play on Saturday. The first band was perhaps the most chaotic thing i've ever witnessed. Turns out that the drummer is a session guy here in town, and this band is his outlet. They never played the same riff for more than 4 or so bars, covering about every odd-time signature and polyrhythm out there -- and each song was at least 8-10 minutes long. Later he told me that each song also took about 6 months to learn. Needless to say, the audience, while appreciative and respectful, didn't get it. I did.

The next band was the one i was there to see. The Secret Life of Sophia. I got a good feeling they might just go somewhere. Next band, i forget their name ... by this point i was parked at the bar and downing some Stella's. They were good, but i don't remember too much more. The final band was who everyone was there to see, and i moved from the bar (4 beers is my limit) to the crowd. Their name was Nakatomi Plaza, and apparently this was their kick-off tour. They reminded me of Superchunk, only a little better. All in all, it was a night that brought me back to 1994, when i returned to Murfreesboro from Knoxville and entered the Boro music scene. I miss playing drums ... again. That's good.

And yes, i realize that you can't go home. But you can always get a hotel room there.
Friday May 13, 2005
08:30 AM

Friday Morning Freak Out

OK ... there was no freak out. But i did watch 'Vistor Q' last night. I don't recommend that you do, in fact -- stay away. After that i watched the remake of 'Assault on Precinct 13' -- it was a very good take on the original. Hell, it was actually better. The fellow whose room i am subletting while he is away in Arizona is a playright, and he has a lot of great books, mostly classics, in the room. I picked up the play "Closer," because it was short and easy to read. While i didn't really care for the ending, the play was very stylish and one particular line really grabbed my attention:

"Everything is just Version of Something Else."

Looking back on my life, i don't think i've every really come up with one single original idea. Not that it bothers me -- i am an extremely *creative* person. But i never really *create* anything. Being creative is not about being able to create something new, i feel -- it is about being able to produce without having to directly copy something. To be able to improvise or just sit down and concentrate on producing something *from yourself*. We are subjected to so many ideas from our fellow humans that it is next to impossible to not *lift* something -- but when you can *come up* with something without having to cheat, well, that's what i call being creative.

But ... everything is a Version of Something Else. And that's not going to stop me from trying to be original. ;)
Thursday May 12, 2005
09:17 AM

Thursday Morning Dress Up

Wore my black suit with white shirt and black tie today. Finally get to have my ID picture made so i don't have to sign in to get in the building every damn day. I had a rough time waking up this morning,  didn't get home till 2am ... my roommate still hasn't washed the sinkful of dishes he left from 2 days ago. I'm going to see how long they stay in there ... i don't cook. Going to the grocery and cooking to save money is so overrated. Nobody thinks about the water (and sometimes electricity) it takes to clean your dishes, not to mention the time spent doing all that. I generally try to eat out cheaply, but last night i splurdged on some Ehiopian food. Me and my friend Mike went to see Reverend Horton Heat last night - his girlfriend bailed on the ticket so i got to go instead. Awesome show. Makes me want to get more tattoos! ... Nah ... one's plenty.

Tonight should be fairly uneventful. I'll probably run down to Kim's Video on the way home and pick up a movie. I've been meaning to see 'Visitor Q' for quite sometime, and the way i could view it back in Nashville was to purchase it. It's great having a good underground video store at my disposal. >:)

Looks like YAPC is out this year ... someday i'll attend. In the meantime, i'll go to the NY Perl Seminar next Wednesday and then check out one of my cow-orker's band, June Fool.

Just another day, and another dollar (that's already been spent).
Wednesday May 11, 2005
09:05 AM

Wednesday Morning Wash-Up

Washed me clothes last night! (Exciting!) I only brought a limited amount of belongs with me, including very few clothes. 2 suits, 5 dress shirts, 2 pair of winter pants (?!), and one pair of khakis. I left the khakis in the washer last night and was planning on wearing them today. They will soon be cut into shorts, but for now they are still good enough to wear to work ... perfect to wear to tonight's Rev. Horten Heat show! They were still in the washer downstairs in the basement washroom, but they were wet and unwearable. Lucky for my, my roommate was kind enough to lend me a pair of pants. I didn't want to wear my nice suit pants to the show.

Yesterday was fairly uneventful, but i did hit up Craig's list and "apply" to try-out for a few rock bands. I miss playing after having seen some good local bands play last Friday night (Secret Life of Sophia and Line & Sinker). I played 'Fable' on the XBox for a few hours over my nice bowl of ramen noodles :D Our TV set sucks though ... reception keeps crapping out.

I read an aritcle this morning in 'New York Magazine' about ladies who had surgery to go from 250 pounds to 120 pounds. The cover girl talked about her ex-husband (who left her) ... he was a D&D geek and now she dates some buff, permed gel-head who no doubt is as fake as his appearance. Wonders never cease. I am happy for her new found 'mobility' ... but i feel she is in for a shock when she learns "you can't go home." People can really suck -- especially when they don't know how to ... just be themselves.

Speaking of food ;) ... i had my first Nathan's hot dog yesterday. Not bad! Me and my cow-orker went to the Manhattan mall for lunch, ate there and popped into a Game store to check out the latest titles. I nearly pooped myself when i saw the case for 'GTA: San Andreas' for the XBox. "That's not suppose to be out until June!" ... and it's not. It was just a Pre-order item. Thank God ... but my fate is sealed when that game is released. I tore up 'GTA: Liberty City' and 'Vice City.'

Ramen noodles never tasted so good.
Tuesday May 10, 2005
09:19 AM

Tuesday Morning Stench

Ahhh, nothing like entering the A train and finding a smelly homeless guy, carrying his own excrement and what not in buckets with him. I sat down to his left, across the barrier, doors, and another barrier  ... and watched my fellow locals recoil in horror as they entered the train. I could have walked to another car, but i thought i'd "be a man" and take it ... all the way from 200th down to 34th. I couldn't help but wonder if the poor man could feel the hate and negative energy directed toward him from everyone else.

Yesterday on the way home i sat down next to nice, young, good looking lady. I noticed she was reading a copy of 'New York Magazine' and i struck up a conversation: "Is this month's edition any good?"

She said it was alright, she bought it to read the cover story. I explained that the girl whose room i took over (for my sublet) decided to cancel her subscription after reading an article in last month's about 'I Hate Brooklyn' ... where she just moved to. "Pretentious bull$hit!" she cried. I read the article, and really didn't know what to think, other than the author had some good points, but seemed more interested in stroking his own ego.

Anyways ... the nice lady on the subway explained that to live in NYC, you simply cannot be over-sensitive. Today was a great example of that ... smelly man. I just breathed ever so lightly through my nose and tried not to swallow. Across from me sat a man who yawned at least 3 times. Not a good idea. I feel sorry for whomever sat down in that spot the smelly man was sitting in 5 minutes after he got off the train. Hell, he's probably still there ...

Last night i watched 'Network' and 'Serpico' ... two movies directed by Sidney Lumet that take place in NYC in the 70's. My how times have changed. I feel that most of the rest of the country feels that NYC is still that way. Oh well ... that's probably for the better as 10 million people fill this city up enough as it is.

And yes, i had ramen noodles for supper last night. ;)
Monday May 09, 2005
08:23 AM

Monday Morning Nightmare

I had a nightmare this morning. First one i've had in long time. I dreamt that i was back home, in Murfreesboro. All i wanted to do was get back to New York. Sometimes i still wonder how i got here -- it's only been 2 weeks, but the thought of being anywhere else seems ... well, just awful. In the dream, i was back at my parents 'old' house, not their new one -- the new one that i stayed at for 1 week before i moved up here on Tuesay, April 26th. In the dream, i was either in that state just prior to moving up here, or it was a semi- future event where i will fly back home, retrieve the rest of my belongings, and drive 'em up in a van. Either way, i won't be flying back ... which is why it was so odd that in the dream, i couldn't find my plane ticket ... and panicked.

Actually, it was a great way to start the week ... when i awoke, i was sooo happy to be in New York.

This is my second week at the new job, and so far so good. Solved a couple of bugs last week, got some paper work out the way, and completed 50% of a new feature i was tasked to add. I mostly puttered around the Net ... but only because i don't have my computers up here with me. This is really the only time i am online, at work. I'll have my folks ship the 'puter up.

This week (and next) is ramen noodle week. I only have about $200 in the bank account, and veritable $hit ton of credit card debt. I can hold out for the next two weeks until my first paycheck ... i just have to go straight home after work and play some XBox, the reason why i brought it with me. It was easier to carry than a computer. (Why didn't i buy a laptop last year instead of that stupid tower?!?)

Last Thursday i met Sam Tregar, Perrin Hawkins, and Michael Peters. Perrin took us all out for some really nice food at a 'Frenchy' restaurant called the Blue Light. Thanks again Perrin! That was the first time i met (in person) Perrin and Sam, and i had not seen Mike in well over a year. He and i had a Parallel Processing class together, my last semester as a grad student at MTSU. The school that is every bit my second home as it is my major source of debt. (Why oh why didn't i take the *blue* pill?)

Well, for better or worse ... i am in New York now.

jeffa is dead. Long live jeffa.