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All the Perl that's Practical to Extract and Report

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  • "There is a person ..."

    Great, now every candidate can wonder if it's them. I suppose you could argue that's the point, since it makes each person reconsider their behavior. OTOH, people acting badly may not know they're acting badly, and probably need to be told directly how their behavior hurt someone else.

    • I know that two out of those three people have been told directly. One doesn't care, one doesn't believe it. As for the third, I don't care. They've behaved so patently offensively that I'll have nothing to do with them (and the order I mention them here is not the order mentioned in my post).

      And yeah, I think people should reconsider their behavior. Those who are consistently nice online are probably not worried, but I know that I need a reminder every now and then and if thinking about this makes me p

      • I sometimes wimp out, but I know that I'd rather be told I am being a jerk [] than have it whispered about behind my back. (I'm agreeing with Ovid here, not complaining that he talked about some anonymous people! I understand and agree with why he did *that* too.)

        I've always found it to be in my best interests to treat people as if they were thinking, feeling entities with whom I shared a mutual hope for the improvement of ourselves and the world. Even when it's not true, it's often a great plan! This involves both being respectful of people (and their ideas) and being willing to tell them when you think they're wrong, and to argue politely until some kind of consensus can be reached. (Sometimes that consensus is, "we should stop arguing for a while." That's okay, too.)

        I have tried to excise a lot of items from my list of ways to communicate: sarcasm and dismissiveness most of all, though they're hard to let go. They just get in the way of actually communicating, and don't serve much purpose. Heck, even when you really do want to dismiss someone, it's possible to do it politely.

        I guess I have no point. I just agree *achingly* with Ovid.

        • The internet doesn't have beer (no, "BYO" doesn't count.) It also lacks identity, intonation, and facial expression (I blame skype and similar proprietary communication tools (and closed networks) for the ongoing lack of ubiquitous ability to truly communicate -- such as in the always-promised, never-delivered virtual pub.)

          And, I still think we need the chairkick protocol.

          But seriously: sure, you should consider that people might misread your posts and you should be generally nice. On the other hand, you

          • Absolutely. If the guy at the other end of ytalk didn't say, "I believe you to be a stinking pile of filth," it's usually a much, much better idea to assume that he's being polite and trying to communicate, rather than to assume that he's a sarcastic jerk. Even if you're wrong, you will have avoided feeling insulted!

            Coping with the Internet 101