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All the Perl that's Practical to Extract and Report

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  • huge rings in your ear and sticking a watch inside it.

    Er... wouldn't that leave you with one ear bigger than the other one, by the end of the day? :-\
    • Well, NOT if you use my patented counterbalance for clock ear piercings! Besides, there is no crime in wearing two watches :) If some fancy designer comes up with this idea in a few years, I can always point them to my post..
    • That gives you a watch that your friends can use to tell the time (if you let them get close enough) but which you can't use yourself (unless it has a "speak" option). A timeless classic.

      Maybe you should insert a laser pointer instead.