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All the Perl that's Practical to Extract and Report

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  • "There is a person ..."

    Great, now every candidate can wonder if it's them. I suppose you could argue that's the point, since it makes each person reconsider their behavior. OTOH, people acting badly may not know they're acting badly, and probably need to be told directly how their behavior hurt someone else.

    • I know that two out of those three people have been told directly. One doesn't care, one doesn't believe it. As for the third, I don't care. They've behaved so patently offensively that I'll have nothing to do with them (and the order I mention them here is not the order mentioned in my post).

      And yeah, I think people should reconsider their behavior. Those who are consistently nice online are probably not worried, but I know that I need a reminder every now and then and if thinking about this makes me pause before sending that angry reply, that's a good thing. I also know that if I stand up for people being decent, then I'll be called to the carpet for hypocrisy if I'm not. By putting myself out there, I'm even more likely to try and catch my behavior.

      I should also note that one issue that so many people forget is that writing doesn't capture tone of voice or body language. Even if we strive to capture the right tone, so many people skim online writing that our carefully crafted statements are still easily taken out of context. I know I did that recently when I completely missed a point chromatic was making and I falsely accused him of objecting to my concerns without acknowledging them. That was very embarrassing to me and I apologized, but the damage is done. I don't think he bears ill-will for this, but others may very well have seen what I did without seeing the apology and even then, if I have to apologize, it means I've done something wrong.

      I just want people to be nice to each other :)

      • I don't think he bears ill-will for this....

        Certainly not! Like you, I also spend a lot of time and energy trying hard never to attack people or call them names. I'll debate ideas (sometimes to the hilt, unfortunately), but it's never okay to attack people.

      • Not only does writing not capture tone of voice or body language, but it's easy to forget that a lot of what is in online in Perl forums/lists/blogs is written and read by people for whom English is a 2nd, 3rd, etc. language.

        -- dagolden

      • I sometimes wimp out, but I know that I'd rather be told I am being a jerk [] than have it whispered about behind my back. (I'm agreeing with Ovid here, not complaining that he talked about some anonymous people! I understand and agree with why he did *that* too.)

        I've always found it to be in my best interests to treat people as if they were thinking, feeling entities with whom I shared a mutual hope for the improvement of ourselves and the world. Even when it's not true, it's often a great plan! This invo

        • The internet doesn't have beer (no, "BYO" doesn't count.) It also lacks identity, intonation, and facial expression (I blame skype and similar proprietary communication tools (and closed networks) for the ongoing lack of ubiquitous ability to truly communicate -- such as in the always-promised, never-delivered virtual pub.)

          And, I still think we need the chairkick protocol.

          But seriously: sure, you should consider that people might misread your posts and you should be generally nice. On the other hand, you

          • Absolutely. If the guy at the other end of ytalk didn't say, "I believe you to be a stinking pile of filth," it's usually a much, much better idea to assume that he's being polite and trying to communicate, rather than to assume that he's a sarcastic jerk. Even if you're wrong, you will have avoided feeling insulted!

            Coping with the Internet 101