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All the Perl that's Practical to Extract and Report

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  • Or how's about this, based on what we in linguistics call the "conduit metaphor/fallacy":

    Assume that everything you say is the model of total clarity, and anytime someone reacts oddly to hearing what you said, assume that they are being ignorant or crude. Insult them accordingly; after all, you are right, and they started it all what with their being ignorant and crude!