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All the Perl that's Practical to Extract and Report

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    Peter Greenaway should be flogged with Ewan McGregor's wang for making that (and all his other) self-indulgent crapfests. But from him we do learn the valuable lesson that:

    • Yeah, I know not everyone appreciates Greenaway's work. Perhaps what puts it into perspective is realizing the Greenaway hates D.W. Griffith. D.W. Griffith was one of the pioneers of film, with the horribly racist Birth of a Nation []. What made that film interesting is that he focused heavily on telling a story in a linear fashion and its success pretty much set into stone the "Visual Novel" idea of film-making.

      Greenaway, by contrast, feels that film is primarily a visual media that should be used as such and linear story telling distracts from this medium. If you can divorce yourself from the idea that films need to be coherent stories, you can get a lot out of his work. Works like The Cook the Thief His Wife & Her Lover [] (also by Greenaway, for those who don't know) was also magnificent, but it only grossed a tad less than 8 million in the U.S., so I think it's fair to say that it's not most people's cup of tea. It's so ingrained in us that there must be a story to accompany the visuals that pathetic crap like Titanic [] dominates at the box office. Of course, it didn't hurt that teenage girls were massively drooling over DiCaprio.

      • It's not just girls drooling over DiCaprio. It's also guys dooling over Kate Winslet. I plead guilty.

        But I must admit, I've never seen "Titanic" completely. Not in one go, anyway.