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All the Perl that's Practical to Extract and Report

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  • One thing to bear in mind with kids, is that if they are continually getting told off for doing things they shouldn't, more often then not they just do what they want and accept the fact they are going to get told off.

    The key is distraction and praise. Not always easy but it does pay off. Whenever DanDan is doing something he shouldn't, rather tell him NOT to do something, we try and tell him what he can do, or get him to do something completely unrelated (like can you see the squirrels in the garden?). When he is doing something right, especially if we didn't ask him to, we make a big deal of saying how good he is.

    Another thing is never to back down when you've said no to them. If you've ever given in, then you'll know that from then on they will keep pestering you, as they'll think you'll finally given in again and let them have their way. Nicole and I prefer to say when something will happen and then make every attempt to do it, when we said we would. For example if DanDan wants 'choc choc' and he can't have it until after dinner, once we tell him, he'll happily finish his dinner knowing he's going to get a 'choc choc' afterwards.

    There was a BBC TV series here in the UK last year, that looked into all this kind of thing, and it was amazing to see some of the results. They took several families who thought they had problem children and showed them other methods of dealing with each child. One father was always losing his rag with his children. After a few weeks of using a different approach to dealing with them and he was amazed to discover that he now bearly raises his voice.

    Obviously every child is different and it may take a while to find the right approach. But once you find it, it pays dividends. DanDan now carries the toast and cereal when we're making breakfast. Give him a few years and I'll have him making a Full English Breakfast in the morning for me ;)