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All the Perl that's Practical to Extract and Report

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  • I am far from a fan of pop psychology books, but someone gave this book to us, so I read it on a slow book day. It had two pieces of advice that may not apply generally, but have certainly smoothed the communications in my (already pretty smooth) relationship:
    • Men tend to talk about problems in an attempt to find a solution; women often just want to talk about them. This leads to a disconnect in which the man keep proposing solutions, when the woman just wants a sympathetic ear.
    • "Cave time". When a man is c
    --
    s/q/o/g to mail
    • Yup, I haven't read the Mars/Venus book but I knew the first point already. It's really helped me understand why my wife would come to me with a problem and leave even more frustrated and upset. She wanted to vent whereas I thought she wanted a solution. Now I listen and nod and "oh, that must be awful" and only try once to help her with a solution (just in case the cosmos is in alignment and she actually wants help for once :-)

      Deborah Tanner has a big line of pop psych books, but as far as I could tell she keeps saying the same thing again and again. I couldn't finish the first I tried, and none of the others I've seen in the bookstore have looked any better.

      --Nat