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All the Perl that's Practical to Extract and Report

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Hypnocat is gracious, is he not? 8 Comments More | Login | Reply /

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  • I've been living with one [marian] for ten years and I've often described our household as being "occupied territory." You see, my cat is a terrorist. Using guerilla tactics, cruel mind games and low animal cunning, my cat has taken possion of:

    • The one lazy boy chair
    • half of my queen-sized bed
    • the closet that stores his litter box
    He rousts me out of bed at the crack of dawn to feed him; he interrupts my work for a head rub; he interrupts again later for more food; finally, he nags me to go to bed at his convenience. With loud, irrating cries and a remarkable amount of vomit, he attempts to rule this household with an iron claw.

    But, all is not lost.

    Thanks to the History Channel [historychannel.com] ["All Nazis -- All the time"], I've become aware of counter-terrorism techniques. To that end, I've sealed off the bathroom (which was becoming a new litter box) and obtain several water guns. The beast only respects force!

    Unfortunately, my counter-terrorism was met by even more insidious doings. After several of my successful campaigns, I began to find my guns broken. My cat was engaging in sabotage!

    To this day, the struggle continues -- neither side willing to give up. Someday, I've got to bring my cat to the negiotating table. But how?

    • Time to return fire. I suggest going to kinko's to make a load of leaflets and engaging in PsyOp [specialoperations.com] tactics to wear down his resistance. :)

    • Once again, your URL is broken for everyone of a certain class of people (those who don't have your hostnames hardcoded into their hosts file or default to your domain). You ... bigot.

      But I agree with you: the only thing they respect is force. My cats try to take over the bed, the chair, the counters. But I have taught them to fear me. Usually all it takes is me saying their name in a menacing voice. Sometimes I have to stand up (they know how I hate to do that, so they wait until I do before they mo

      • Once again, your URL is broken for everyone of a certain class of people (those who don't have your hostnames hardcoded into their hosts file or default to your domain). You ... bigot.

        Oops! I thought I had taskboy.com open on my browser, but I had the local development mirror of taskboy.com open. This is correct URL [taskboy.com].

        Usually all it takes is me saying their name in a menacing voice.

        I've seen that work for people too.

        Other times it requires water guns or zrbtts to the tummy

        Dude, your like the Rambo of

        • Yeah ... and my cat is especially mean. The vet uses falcon gloves to handle her. It usually takes 2-3 people to hold her down. One time she was really pissed at the vet's office and the vet didn't want anyone to touch her for fear of much blood-letting, but I went over and picked her up. I 0wnz her.
      • I'm assuming zrbtts are blowing raspberries on the tummy.

        Strange, one of our cats [sergeant.org] loves that. However one of the dogs [sergeant.org] absolutely hates it. Can't stand it.
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