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Journal of sumdeus (4830)

Thursday March 18, 2004
02:59 AM

Ahhhhh PHP you evil dog...

[ #17945 ]
Been quite busy lately using PHP--a mortal sin, but a necessary sin. Gotta get paid. In using it more and more however, I've become sincerely agitated over an increasing number of things:
  1. If I have to write ereg_* for a regular expression one more time I'm going to barf.
  2. All of the templating solutions are slow. Yeah, I know about caching the page, but I want more speed!
  3. Can you say CPAN? The PHP version of cpan is googling for code... sad.
  4. <? ... what the hell is \<?...
  5. I even miss the giant module...

What I need is a to be able to write Perl code and it's translated into php by some sort of fancy shmancy translator. Ah, a dream come true. Be glad you're hacking it in Perl.

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  • <?$x='PLP::Tie::Print::PRINT';$w=escapeshellarg($_SERVER[SCRIPT_FILENAME]);
    $z= preg_split("/\n\n/",`perl -e'my\$f=shift;use PLP;\$ENV{PATH_TRANSLATED}=
    \$f;my\$z=\\&$x;*$x=sub{*$x=\$z;PLP::sendheaders};P LP::everything' $w 2>&1`
    ,2);foreach(preg_split("/\n/",$z[0])as$y)header($y);echo$z[1];exit?><::&g t;
    <title>A PLP (Perl-in-HTML) document in PHP!</title>
    <: BEGIN { $header{'Content-Type'} = 'text/html; charset="US-ASCI

    • There mere fact that this exists is both terrifying and intriguing. However you say that there's no POST content and it is terribly slow, not quite what I was looking for since I need to be using quite a bit of POST data and I need the site to be ultra fast.

      I am going to continue to look at this just because i find it interesting. Thanks for the heads up on this, much appreciated.
      • You could hack POST support into it. It's just a proof of concept and I didn't bother to do such a thing.

        If you need your site to be ultra fast, why the heck use PHP? Try PLP or if you can your own PerlHandler.
  • I also have sinned.

    I tried to talk the operator of a dot-org that wanted dynamic content and templates to install slashcode and some other Perl templatey stuff, but he was already using PHP for his Photo Gallery and other projects, alas. With the built-in MYSQL hookds it's not half bad, and it's *almost* Perl ... for what it's good for, we shouldn't need ereg_whatever_match very often. *sigh*.

    The website is PHP fronting MYSQL for dynamic content. Currently updates are still manual SQL, eventually we mi

    # I had a sig when sigs were cool
    use Sig;
  • However I was lucky enough to be able to code the back end admin interface with perl/DBI,DBD::mysql/ before having to diddle with the front end PHP/CSS/Javascript

    SO far it's all coming together rather well, but like someone else here said, if I have to write preg_match* or ereg_match* one more damn time, I swear to god I'm gonna kill -9 /dev/universe.

    *sigh* why the hell does it have to be so similar to perl? I'd be fine if it were widely different. and the slight differences are a major PITA.