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shockme (2685)

  {shock} {at} {}
AOL IM: stephenhargrove (Add Buddy, Send Message)

If you really must have more information about me, see my home node [] at PerlMonks [] or my journal [] at

Journal of shockme (2685)

Monday December 29, 2003
06:03 PM

2003.12.24 (ASAP) = 2003.12.29

[ #16543 ]

If I could get my hands on the guy, I truly believe I would beat him to death with the CD-RW drive that he mailed today.

Huh? Today?

Yeah. He told me he'd express mail it on December 24. I followed up with an email explaining why it would be really great if I had the drive on December 29. When I arrived back in town last night, I was more than a little pissed to find that he hadn't emailed me yet. So I emailed a status request to him.

And he apparently mailed the drive sometime between receiving that email and 15:45 CST. Oh, so apologetic. So supplicating. So expiatory and explanatory.

As God as my witness I would beat him to death with the drive.

In the language of the United States Postal System, overnight does not carry the obvious meaning. See, in the context of the English language, we might take it to mean something like "[d]uring or for the length of the night". We might then believe that an overnight delivery would translate to delivering some package from point A to its final destination (a.k.a. point B) during the length of the night.

But we would be foolish naives to believe such fodder, because we would be overlooking the United States Postal Service definition. Now, I am well aware of the official definition, but I'm talking about the real world definition. You know, the one that reads something along the lines of "We will deliver this package overnight, but we specifically reserve the right to designate a night of our choosing."

As God as my witness I would beat him to death with the drive.

And if he required a signature proof of delivery I will tear his heart out with the pen ...

Lori says I need to be more optimistic ... I thought I was ...

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