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scrottie (4167)

scrottie
  scott@slowass.net
http://slowass.net/

My email address is scott@slowass.net. Spam me harder! *moan*

Journal of scrottie (4167)

Friday March 07, 2008
08:41 PM

MCS (certain chemicals make me stupid) update

[ #35867 ]

An MCS Yahoo! group stumbled across an old post in here where I talked mostly about my earlier experience being extremely sensitive to certain common pesticides (so sensitive that my autoimmune system invades my brain -- google "MCS brainfog" if you want some color of what this looks like).

Here's a quick update, meant for other people with this problem (and it happens with environmentally persistent chemicals that build up in your body and in animal fat in your food other than pesticide) and for people who are just hoping I'm doing better now days.

I'm not suffering day by day, which is *huge*. I can't tell you. But I'm still in a precarious place. I'm basically dependent on telecommute work, and I have too much debt from too much time out of work to be comfortable and not enough backup plan in place (if I suddenly have to move to escape this problem, if the job goes away, etc). So anxiety still runs very high. I cope with it in various productive and non-productive ways -- often it just overcomes me. I'm worse the wear, pretty burnt out on humanity and generally war tattered. But, again, day by day, it's been good lately. I had a neighbor for a long time who didn't consider spraying for the ants eating the grease on his BBQ every day to actually be spraying and wouldn't stop because he wasn't really spraying (I'm not sure what he considered spraying). And sometimes a neighbor would try to kill all of their weeds (so I spent a lot of time pulling everyone's weeds for them, which made me feel like an ass, as well as feel bullied). And sometimes they'd go on a termite scare and have a company in with a large truck and a 5hp gas pump to dump hundreds of gallons of pesticide on their yard just down the road, triggering an emergency multi-week trip to visit a friend, the first few days of which, I was pretty boring. I often cope with pesticide exposure by drinking heavily. It's diuretic, causing my liver to just pee out a bunch of liquid, flushing the system that way (assuming I'm also adding lots of water), it takes the edge off, people expect drunk people to be/act stupid so it's camouflage, it gets me out of the house or away, and heck, I might as well.

Advice to anyone with this problem: GET OUT. Put your stuff in storage with a family member or friend, tell them you're not feeling well, you don't think it's mental, but you can't explain it yet but you need fresh air. Get a tent. Go camping for a week to clear your head. Make a plan. Ask for help. People *will* help you -- not all or many of them, but don't be shy about asking craigslist for a pesticide free place to live. Don't be shy about telling people who are willing to rent you a room that because even the actions of neighbors affect you, it still might not work out, and you're very sorry and hope it does, and very grateful. If it doesn't work out, repeat: camp again, do something else. Don't camp around other people. Find the state parks in your area where you can camp. Find a laundromat and wash your clothes and everything of yours you can before you go. Don't try to bring things with you that are covered in pesticide or perfume or whatever your trigger is. Don't be ashamed to be a "bum" while that's what you have to do. There are lots of people who, for various reasons, just loaf for a while. Maybe they went through something traumatic, like a war, or just have emotional stuff they need to sort out. Don't be afraid to share their company. Use hostels. Use the strange resources out there. Don't be shy. You *have to* so you might as well stop dragging your feet. If you do what you have to do, you'll get out of the brainfog and be able to think clearly. Let your family and person obligations go if you have to. People will understand, and you'll get your life back when you get your living and working situation going again. If you have to beg, ask people to feed you, not give you money. Don't be shy about that either. Hitchhike. Ride Greyhound. You can always get off Greyhound. Use couchsurfing.com. Tour Mexico. Get away from the problem.

-scott

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  • Man, I thought my problem sucked. I can't eat wheat-based things because it apparently provokes an autoimmune response on my digestive system. So no bread, pasta, pizza, etc. (as people remind me, that sucks when living in a French-ish place like Geneva) It sounds similar to what you described, a sort of gradual build-up. It doesn't make my brain foggy, though -- at least as far as I know. :}