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scrottie (4167)


My email address is Spam me harder! *moan*

Journal of scrottie (4167)

Wednesday December 05, 2007
02:55 AM

Sometimes I'm fine, sometimes I'm not

[ #35045 ]

Strange hotels. B&Bs. Friend's apartments. It's remarkable how often I'm okay. And it's remarkable how often I'm not, even when I should be...

The poor neighborhoods aren't necessarily problematic and the rich neighborhoods aren't necessarily safe. Old places aren't necessarily bad either and new ones aren't necessarily good.

So many things can go wrong and it takes so little. And end table from a thrift store that was somewhere that was sprayed heavily, until it absorbed into the wood and now slowly off-gases. Neighbors across the street and a house over who come out with a can of RAID every day to try to chase ants away from the barbecue grease (futile; as long as there is food, there will be pests). Exterminators 30 years ago pumping the walls full of something that's extremely environmentally persistent and now banned (dozens of organophosphates have been banned, starting with DDT, yet they still keep making more, right to this present day; RAID and BlackFlag are primarily organophosphates with some others added).

So, a lot of thought goes into figuring out "where it's coming from". I do that insane-looking (and possibly insane-being) peering out the window a lot thing. If I hear a noise, I wonder if it's the exterminators and I have five minutes to run or else find myself in extreme pain. Or I wonder if the neighbors are out back spraying, and that's why I've been having problems lately. I'm not the only MCSS to struggle with trying to figure out whether I'd be better off with the windows open or closed. Airing a place out is often necessary (though as the outgasing continues, generally of temporary use), but timing it right is essential, or I'll wind up with a much stronger dose.

Then there's another tiring dilemma... when to call it quits on a place. Can I make it through the lunch I've ordered at a restaurant without making a fuss? That one truck stop that always pegs me hard, do I just refuse to go in? Should I even bother to try new coffee shops after having tried thirty and having three on my safe list? How much can I put up with in an apartment considering that breaking leases, awkward encounters, hunting, and the heartbreak of not having something work out also takes a large toll on me?


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