use Perl

Whilst walking back in the dusk from the park, something went thump into the insole of my right walking boot. I looked down, and I'd just been head-butted by a frog. Silly thing. Lucky thing, more like, as if it had been a bit faster it would have been under my boot, rather than slamming into it.

Given that currently it seemed keen on continuing off the pavement, into the road; a route which only leads to more flats, grass, but a distinct lack of water features, I decided that it would be best to forcibly revise its route planning for it, and carry it back to the park. However, recalling that frogs are prone to pee when picked up, I attempted to lure it onto a piece of cardboard [quite a bit of free rubbish nearby :-(], which proved harder than I hoped, as trying to sneak up on it with the cardboard merely resulted in frog herding. Getting it to the park this way would have been very slow. [Mmm, but probably faster than the delivery for the thermos for the coffee machine in the office. Maybe it's being hopped over from Switzerland by carrier-frog]. Fortunately the frog wasn't clever enough to avoid getting trapped between the cardboard and a wall, with which I had it up. Unsurprisingly, for the whole of the journey the persistent little thing tried to find a way to hop off the cardboard, but to no avail. [Last night I'd been herding ferrets*, and they're faster than frogs, so the frog doesn't stand a chance]. By the end I was carrying the frog in my hand, because it hadn't let rip yet, and I so I assumed that if it was nervous, it didn't have any left. Either that, or it still assumed that it was on cardboard, and so "knew" not to. :-)

* Said ferret, Frettchen, likes beer, and will happily climb into a glass to drink the last drops, or enthusiastically lick it from your fingers. I presented her with a finger dipped in perry last night. Her reaction was priceless - came up to the finger, then backed away "euugh", faster than a CAMRA member from a product of Anheuser-Busch.