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Journal of nicholas (3034)

Wednesday June 11, 2003
06:56 PM

Prime-ministerial spam

[ #12763 ]

The Register reports a piece of opposition spin that Tony Blair has no e-mail address. Thinking that this is discraceful, they've helpfully set him up with a hotmail account. So I started wondering what sort of spam he'll soon be getting. Maybe something like this

$$$ Make Mushrooms Fast $$$

  • Tired of being impotent on the world stage?
  • Unable to buy the ingredients you need on the open market?
  • Can't get the staff?
  • Cyclotrons too slow?

We have the answer. Here's how to do it without any pesky double dealing arms traders, nosey weapons inspectors, or self righteous foreign powers being any the wiser.

Just send 1g of weapons grade plutonium to the address at the top of this list. Do it discretely, in a lead lined jiffy bag so as not to arouse any suspicions. Next delete that address from the list, move all the others up by one, and then put your own address at the bottom of the list. Finally pass this message on to 6 of your friends (or enemies). That's it! Soon you'll have enough plutonium rolling in to go critical.

Here's the list that leads to liberty:

  1. People's Front for an Independent Texas
    PO Box 1*
    Austin
     
  2. ESR
    Malvern,
    PA,
    USA
     
  3. Dipsy
    Tubbytronic Superdome,
    Teletubbyland,
    Somerset,
    UK
     
  4. Bill Gates
    One Microsoft Way,
    Redmond,
    WA, 98052,
    USA
     
  5. Sauraman the White
    Isengard,
    Middle Earth
     
  6. O. Bin Laden
    c/o Washington, D.C. 20505
  7.  

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  • Dipsy
    Tubbytronic Superdome,
    Teletubbyland,
    Somerset,
    UK

    Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa and Po all live just south of Stratford-upon-Avon, in Warwickshire. I thought everyone knew that ;)

    Or is this his secret hideaway to escape from Tubbie-bye-byes? Or the launch site for a retaliation attack on the Boohbah's attempt at taking the CeeBeeBees crown?

    Or perhaps I ought stop watching kids TV with DanDan :)

    • I thought everyone knew that ;)

      I didn't, and a quick check on google didn't find it. Presumably as it (the set) physically exists it has a postcode?

      Or is this his secret hideaway to escape from Tubbie-bye-byes?

      Well it did occur to me that if you were potentially going to have packages arriving that could go boom, you may wish to have them delivered somewhere else. It's a bit like saying please send me an SS20 [pm.org] and leaving the word send open to interpretation.

      Anyway, it brings a whole new meaning to time