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merlyn (47)

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Journal of merlyn (47)

Wednesday November 09, 2005
07:59 AM

Movies so bad, you must love them - "Starcrash"

[ #27522 ]
I was reminded in another online forum of my favorite "worst movie of all time", Starcrash. Starcrash has an amazingly big budget cast, and tried to cash in on Star Wars (the original) released the previous year, but failed miserably in writing, special effects, acting, photography, costumes (did I leave anything out) and frequently invokes "unwilling suspension of disbelief" far too often.

One of the many memorable lines in the film needs a bit of a setup.

The Emperor of This Half of the Galaxy (Christopher Plummer), the Hero (David Hasslehoff), and the Token Babe (Caroline Munro) are deep within a planet, about to explode. Here's the quote from the script:

                      Forty-eight seconds left til the
                      explosion! You have to get out of here!

                      It's true, father! It's a deadly trap!
                      The Count has mined the planet with
                      nuclear charges. We're all about to die!

            A light of understanding comes into the eyes of the Emperor.
            The old man, who seems to have acquired the boldness and
            power of a young warrior, draws himself up to the full height
            of his majestic figure, raising an arm towards the ceiling.

                      I wouldn't be Emperor if I didn't have
                      powers at my command. Imperial
                      Battleship, HALT THE FLOW OF TIME!!!


            In the sky, above the planet, near the spot where L's ship
            has landed, we see a great, powerful ship...a true battleship
            of the Stars, armed with an incredible number of turrets and
            deadly cannons and rays. And now, a green ray is emitted from
            this ship. A green ray that envelopes the entire planet.

            INT - OVAL ROOM

            Even the room is immersed in unreal, supernatural green

                      For three minutes, every molecule on this
                      planet is immobilized. But after the
                      third minute, the green ray loses its
                      power...and time flows once again. Then
                      everything will explode!

                      Three minutes are enough! Let's get out
                      of here!

My mind boggles. Halting the flow of time, including the very room in which they are standing, and they now have three minutes.

It's out on DVD. I must order myself a copy soon to replace my fading Video-8 copy from cable many years ago.

update: The DVD arrived: see my clip reference.

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