Today's entry is all about tits. Quit reading now if this bothers you. I'll get back to Perl one of these days.
Today was the second day of the 35th Georgia Children's Literature Conference, which I was working as a bookseller. It's attended almost exclusively by elementary and middle school teachers -- hundreds of them. And all but two of the ones I saw were female, so you might think that a good many of them would be at least a little hot, but you'd be wrong. My totals for today: 2 Certifiably Hot Teachers, 2 Borderline (Pretty or Cute, But Not Really Hot (and one of those was because she has really pretty hair)). There was also one with an unbelievable ass in a ankle-length denim skirt slit to the thigh, but she was trying too hard to be hot (I mean *really*...a belly dancer coin belt thingy?). The few really attractive women were dressed pretty modestly, but there were some average looking chunky girls there with v-neck shirts on, so I racked (hah!) up 4 extended high-grade downblouse shots.
There was also also a woman who I believe to have been in her early 60s with, like, F-cup implants, very much on display. They looked like cantaloupes upholstered in rich corinthinan leather. Terrifying.
In the afternoon Amy came by to visit since it's her last day working with us. We mostly talked about the usual crap but one topic shift led to a discussion which was, quite frankly, astonishing.
Looking at today's IADP, I commented that I couldn't figure out why one of the girls was wearing a low-rise strapless bra. Amy posited that perhaps she had been wearing a tanktop. I replied that, no offense, the girl in question would have been quite safe in the hands of the builtin shelf bra.
This is where things got interesting.
Amy replied that size wasn't the only factor to consider, and that when she (1) was wearing a halter or tank top and (2) would be around anyone but friends, she prefers to wear a lightly padded shaped-cup bra so that her nipples aren't poking out all the time. This made sense, and in truth I would never have considered such a thing, even though I spend great swathes of my waking time thinking about breasts in general.
The conversation moved on and I learned that on those occasions when pokies are acceptable but only one of them has decided to wake up, she would "go ahead and give the other one a little tweak". This was a huge revelation; I was aware that a lot of girls really like showing off their assets (even if they choose to act irritated when someone is so brazen as to stare or, say, look at their chest and then make eye contact and smile instead of looking away) in a passive way like cleavage, but that some consider their breasts as an active-mode part of their sexual arsenal and pay attention to their status was new.
Still, this paled compared to what came next.
She said that, in fact, she once (and I believe her when she says once, because she's very intelligent and a far more diligent student than I ever was) had to go beg a professor to bump up a borderline letter grade on a paper, and before going in his office she MADE SURE both nipples were "tweaked" and prominently on display.
Let me repeat that: SHE MANUALLY STIMULATED HER OWN NIPPLES TO ERECTION IN ORDER TO ENTICE A SOCIAL AND PROFESSIONAL SUPERIOR TO DO HER BIDDING.
IT BLEW MY FUCKING MIND.
Of course, tactics like this only work because men are exceedingly simple creatures. If I walked into a female boss's office after stroking myself to half-chub status and sat with my legs spread, I have severe doubts that I would get what I wanted. Unless I wanted to be escorted from the building.
Never forget: girls are dangerous. Even the ones that like you.