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jdavidb (1361)

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J. David Blackstone has a Bachelor of Science in Computer Science and Engineering and nine years of experience at a wireless telecommunications company, where he learned Perl and never looked back. J. David has an advantage in that he works really hard, he has a passion for writing good software, and he knows many of the world's best Perl programmers.

Journal of jdavidb (1361)

Saturday June 29, 2002
01:21 PM

YAPC day 3: Damian: Time::Space::Continuum

[ #6068 ]

Damian. Imminent warping of my brain.

Kevin says last time Damian didn't go far enough out with his talk.

Damian is "SO over" in constant time. He's done with it. You heard it here first, folks.

Ain't got time for "in constant time."

New Damian slogan: in zero time.

Programming with the space-time continuum itself, dedicated to Jon Orwant, who gave Damian a thought two years ago that has gestated into this. Thanks a heap, Jon.

4-dimensional representation of Jon Orwant.

Relativity for hobbits.

Relativity: the theory that beat Bohr and Newton.

Everything is relative except the speed of light.

Why Make C Absolute?

4D graph of your position as a hyper cone in the future provided you do not move faster than the speed of light. On a t-shirt.

Time-like interval. Light-like interval. Those of us made out of photons, like Damian.

Space-like interval. Portion of spacetime not covered by the hypercone.

C is just a conversion factor converting time and space, which are interchangeable or something.

Time is sensibly measured in seconds. Distance is measured in made up units.

Damian with a French accent.

If distance were measured in light-seconds, c would be 1, and e^pi*i = -1 would equal -c. More universal constants related!

When you move up you chop off another hypercone, narrowing your possiblities.

If Jon Orwant threw a coffee mug at the person on the train...

Light isn't like a coffee mug.

The universe conspires to make this so -- Lorentz. The universe cheats: it's a Perl programmer. Shrinks your space in the direction you travel, and stretches time in the same direction.

The Great Perl Conspiracy. MJD was restrained.

Good use of all the nice pictures you've seen of folks selling olive oil^W^WPerl.

Perl eugenics.

Darth Wall. Took me awhile, for some reason.

Lorentz contraction can be interpreted as viewing something on two sets of axes.

Damian just proved the possibility of time travel.

Derivation of E = mc^2.

Turning a merry go round very fast changes the measurements. Pi is not constant. But measuring radius is perpendicular to direction of motion, so it is not contracted.

Pi is 4 at 600 million rps.

Area inside gets bigger. Space became less dense.

Damian Conway is probably the hacker pun master.

An easy way to do that for sufficiently hard values of easy.


  • while spacetime sloop
  • while st loop
  • whilst loop

-t "time-like" suffixes for other loops.

  • fort
  • untilt
  • not
  • dot
  • diet
  • post
  • cost
  • joint
  • pipet
  • closet

National Equirer operators

  • seekdirt
  • mkdirt
  • telldirt
  • readdirt

$var --> 0 # decrement and check against 0

# while $var goes to 0 :)

Something really magical going on here or something. Hmmm.

Time like loops are faster than C by definition. I'm embarrassed; someone explain this pun to me, please. Update: 30 minutes later, I finally get the pun! Yea, me!!

Perl Wars I A New Computation

Perl Wars II The Einstein Strikes Back

Perl Wars III Return of the Aussi quantum physics and general relativity unified

Rats. The conference is over.

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