Slash Boxes
NOTE: use Perl; is on undef hiatus. You can read content, but you can't post it. More info will be forthcoming forthcomingly.

All the Perl that's Practical to Extract and Report

use Perl Log In

Log In

[ Create a new account ]

gnat (29)

  (email not shown publicly)

Journal of gnat (29)

Tuesday January 08, 2002
02:39 PM

Bane of my life

[ #1986 ]
Marketing prose. I'm writing 65- 150- and 325-word blurbs for the PHP book, and I hate it. This isn't just writer's block, it's fish out of water syndrome. How do I do it? What do I say?!

Every bloody marketing report makes me feel this way. So I avoid them for as long as possible. But this one is due today.

Wow, insight time--my work ethic hasn't really changed since university, when I would let work go until deadlines all the time. How crushing that in almost ten years I've learned nothing. Oh well, back to the hell that is copy ....


The Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not responsible for them in any way.
More | Login | Reply
Loading... please wait.
  • You've learned that you'll always put this stuff off until the very last moment. That's important. This way everyone can just move their deadlines for you up two weeks and not tell you about it. :)
  • You're an awesome bullshit artist who is capable of blowing sunshine up the darkest arse...I have confidence that you will write the most fawning prose for the PHP book. Just download some porn and have at it! :)

    • Thanks ... I think :-)

      It only took me an HOUR to write this shit. Here's what I came up with for the 150 word text (yes yes, it's 155, eat me).

      PHP 4 has become the pre-eminent language for creating dynamic web sites. Programming PHP is a comprehensive guide to version 4.1 of this powerful language and its applications. And because it's by the creator of PHP, Rasmus Lerdorf, you'll learn not only how to program in PHP, but how to do it well.

      This authoritative book explains the language syntax and pr

      • by hfb (74) on 2002.01.08 17:40 (#2892) Homepage Journal

        Just say "PHP: Porn Hooters and Poontang. What every programmer cannot ever have too much of!" Watch it fly off the shelves! ;)

        Copy is more yuppie catalogs to get such gems like "Mug comes equipped with a handle designed to keep the mug cold and your hand warm"...holy cow man, a mug with a handle! I need 12 of those!

        In all honesty, it reads like you're stretching as the Crate and Barrel copy above. Why do people like PHP and why would they bother buying the book? I'm interested in the book because I've taken a shine recently to a PHP photo gallery application. So, the mug comes with a handle engineered for my hand...does it do anything else?

        and yes, the bs artist comment was something of a compliment :)

      • It reads like the book is as painful as you've been describing it. (And, BTW, you've completely lost parallelism in that next to last sentence, to pit a nick.)
        • Actually, if it makes the book sound bad, then I've failed. The book isn't bad now (that's the point of my editing it--to make it better).

          I'm just hamstrung because I can't say "this book is better than all the others because the others just wave their hands at what a function does, whereas we describe all the parameters, all the return codes, above and beyond the online PHP documentation, *and* we help you select the right function from a bewildering number of choices". Apparently it's poor form to say

  • Is this for the back cover of the book?

    Someone suckered me into doing that for the Slash book, by dangling some limpid prose and daring me to edit it. It wasn't that bad. Maybe I'm a sunshine artist.

    Having reviewed several books [] in the past, it was easier to ask "Who should read this book?" and "What kind of information is the book supposed to cover?"

    Of course, there's also a quote from Rob Malda [], so you might not want to take my advice.