Woohoo, I had fun playing with Error Documents/Handlers. I was able to make my nice, custom error page when someone tried to access an aread without a SSL connection.
The downside is that I can't seem to get Apache::Compress working. Oh well, it's not that big a deal. I'll work on it later.
Well, back to the code reorg (my startup script isn't dong what I thought it would, like I said, oh well).