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geoff (2013)

geoff
  reversethis-{gro ... om} {ta} {ffoeg}
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Journal of geoff (2013)

Thursday July 25, 2002
12:37 PM

socialization

[ #6637 ]
so, yesterday I ended up being in a few rather uncomfortable social situations, all of which were essentially my fault and made me feel rather sub-human. each of these collectively made me think about what makes it so difficult to socialize at these tech things sometimes, and I think that it may have to do with some of the group dynamics that are unique to online v in-real-life circumstances. So, here are a few rules I intend to follow better myself from now on...

- always introduce yourself to everyone you don't know when you enter a conversation. Otherwise you may make the people you don't know feel unimportant.

- if you bring someone into a conversation, introduce them around to everyone so they don't feel left out. this isn't just about spouses/SOs, but includes fellow geeks who may not know the same people you do.

- don't be so self absorbed you don't really listen to (or care about) what people are saying. I actually watched someone leave mid-sentence when another person was talking to them, and I misunderstood someone entirely yesterday because I was thinking about myself instead of them when they were talking.

- If you screw up, apologise. Yesterday I didn't even acknowledge someone I knew when we were in the same conversation. what an ass. so, I appologized the next time we spoke.

</soapbox>
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  • I've been having the same problem. This is my first time at OSCon, and for some reason socialization seems harder than it was at YAPC (2000 and 2001 -- not that socialization is ever easy for me).

    I find myself in the sort of awkward situations you're talking about, standing around at the edge of a conversation involving a bunch of people whose names I know, none of whom know me (because I'm not a Name). It's my own fault for not opening my mouth more, but that's always been hard for me.

    I'm suffering hig
    • One thing that has to be taken into account as well is that most people are not accustomed to talking that much in a row. That certainly is my case, and I know that after three days of talking to people all day long I seriously started having blanks in the middle of a conversation where my mind just wandered off... I certainly hope I didn't offend anyone, but there's only so much conversation my brain can handle in a row, especially with the jet lag and the heavy drinking ;)

      --

      -- Robin Berjon [berjon.com]

  • You just become #1 on my list of people I have to meet someday at a conference.

    --
    J. David works really hard, has a passion for writing good software, and knows many of the world's best Perl programmers