I decided that I could write a UI in less than a day that would be superior to the crap I have now, so I decided to first install DBD::Sybase on my Windows box. Unfortunately, I appear to be missing the 'lib' directory in my Sybase client software. I would download the Open Client software for Solaris and give it a shot there but I don't think it's free.
My next option was to try downloading FreeTDS and install it on my Solaris box. But NOOOOOOOOOOO, it won't build due to yet another linker issue, or a readline issue, or whatever.