use Perl

About once a week a masseuse comes here to work for a couple of hours. She's fairly good, inexpensive and generally pretty reliable. I recently became her "sponsor" when the previous sponsor was laid off. She's been coming here for about 3 years. I usually do a 30 minute session. I rationalize the time off by noting that the smokers probably accumulate at least 30 minutes of "smoke breaks" during the day, and I only do it once a week, max. Not to mention the fact that my back gets very sore, so I consider it bonafide physical therapy.

Anyway, due to the many layoffs around here I decided to ask a few new folks if they were interested in receiving a massage. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of asking Dudley Dumbfuck. You've met Dudley - he's the dork with no life or social skills obsessed with rules and regulations because that's all he's good for.

Dudley asks me if I'm sure she has permission to be in the building and that I should check with the Security Manager. I tell him I'm pretty sure she's clear, that I've sponsored her and that the woman at the front desk knows all about her. I have no intention of checking with the Security Manager. I don't fucking care if she's "authorized".

Well, lo and behold I get a call from the woman at the front desk that the Security Manager has been notified by an "anonymous person" that there may be an unauthorized individual in our building. That means I'll be getting a call soon from the Security Manager and we'll have to work things out .

If our masseuse gets kicked out of the building I'm going to make sure I let loose with a few choice words on Dudley Fuckwit for managing to fuck up my once-a-week break time.