I decided I would take a look at Class::Phrasebook but I'm running into trouble. The first issue is that one of the requirements, IO::LockedFile, won't build on my system, at least not via the CPAN shell. I guess I'll get the source and try to build that way. My second issue is that it has prerequisites in the first place.
I'm not especially keen on using XML either. I think I'd rather use YAML, but then I only plan on using this for SQL.
Note to whoever's listening: search.cpan.org appears to be defunct and has been so for about a day now.
Update: I found some interesting comments here about the perl.com article. The issue of placeholders jumped at me right away, too.