Here are the slides and here's the transcript:
(if you press enter on a slide it'll take you to the next one; the slides I showed didn't have the navigation bar on the bottom and I used the biggest font that could fit in the screen)
So, what did I learn at OSDC?
Lesson #1: Beware what you name your brand
In the hotel room I'm staying at, the toilet is of the brand "caroma"
which can be written like this and read the same...
[ "c'aroma" ]
or this; both are valid Portuguese and read the same, and that's pretty much the same as naming a toilet...
[ "que aroma" ]
"What a smell"
Because that's what it means in Portuguese!
Lesson #2: Geeks are too suspicious
You put some chips there, you say it's free, and no one will touch it.
You go around saying they're not poisoned and they just look even more suspicious.
Lesson #3: Don't fall asleep in the train...
If you do that, there's the chance that you won't be getting out at the right exit...
Lesson #4: Some things about lightning talks
I learned a few things about lightning talks...
For instance, it is possible to create a Catalyst application in 5 minutes...
[ Kieren tried but failed the 5 minute mark by a few seconds ]
It is possible to do the same thing with Mongrel...
[ The Mongrel guy did the same, and while typing as fast as he could on the command line he hit tab and the auto completion system showed us some of the videos he had on his laptop; you'll understand further down why I'm describing this... ]
But Ruby is great, because you actually finish on time!
[ The Ruby guy completed his app in about 4 minutes 30 seconds ]
Even if you make a lot of typos!
It is possible to extend your talk beyond the 100 slides limit...
[ ah, the Takahashi people... ]
And nude women in your slides are not allowed...
[ Adam did it and they went to talk to him ]
which is why this slide is left blank...
Lesson #5: Ideas for lightnings talks...
I got quite a few, from this conference, and there's one that I may do in the near future...
Abstract: Everything you need to know on how to get to the food before everybody else does!
[ you actually had to hurry or the food would be long gone ]
Lesson #6: Australia is a weird country...
You see, in other countries
they're worried about people getting drugs inside the borders, but in Australia?
Hell, no! Here you worry about
[ this is true; I swear! ]
Lesson #7: Make people happy
So I went to this great talk this morning, by Paul Fenwick, on Human Interfaces for Geeks
And one of the things he taught us there was that you should always compliment the other person.
Why? Because that makes them happy and thus more willing to help you out.
For instance, if I wanted to ask something of you, I'd probably say something like "You're a great audience!"
And you are indeed a great audience.
By the way
I need your help
I need to buy a pajama...
IT'S NOT FOR ME!
So if someone could point me in the right direction I'd appreciate it.
Also on the same vein
I need to buy some shorts
They're taking me some place hot, tomorrow morning...
37 degrees celsius?
I believe it's called an "oven"...
I really enjoyed being here
Even if I'm going to melt, tomorrow...
And I hope to get back to Melbourne!
Really, I do!
You see, I'm going to Sydney next week, so I need to get back to Melbourne if I want to get back to Portugal!
But after that I hope to get back, I really do.
So I'll be seeing you around.
You're a great audience!
[ I waited until people started clapping... ]
But I hadn't finished yet...
Back to Paul...
Paul says "Compliment people!"
Let me give you an example
"That talk on Mongrel was really cool..."
Where's the Mongrel guy? Oh, there you are.
That talk was really cool...
You think you can get me Dexter's episodes 9 and 10?
I would love you for that!
But anyway, we were talking about Paul
Paul says he has used his own teachings...
for getting a computer part in less than 24 hours...
and to avoid a fine in public transportation...
So I thought I'd make the world a better place!
So Randal, meet Paul!
There's a few things he can teach you.
[ and here be said that the previous day I'd given a lightning talk explaining how I'd came about to know that OSDC existed, which was through Paul's journal on use.Perl, where he sometimes talks about the chickens he has in his backyard... ]
Why did I cross the road to Melbourne?
Because there was a chicken on the other side...
Thank you very much! You're a great audience!