This e-mail is to inform about the abusive use, against all moral rules, of our network by one of your workers: NAME. The latest week analysis shows a high level of downloads and access times totally unsuitable for the work our company develops. Here's the detailed information:
Date: 20 to 27 March 2004
Total time: 21h 35m
Download volume: 174.412.456 bytes
Number of downloaded images: 2843
Some of the most accessed sites:
Since this situation is so aberrant, I ask for your permission to inform the executive commission.
Well... as expected, the guy frooze... and two seconds later the big chief was on the phone:
Boss: Can you tell me what this is all about?
Worker: I did access the first site, but I don't know anything about the others... and I certainly have not accessed these gay sites!!!
Boss: Well, we have to sort this out. You better come to my office, and be quick about it. [hangs up]
Three more seconds and there he was, stepping into that office, all pale and shaking, just to realize there wasn't anybody else working in the whole department... about 30 people waiting for him, laughing out loud...
It's always a good thing to have a humorous team to work with
BTW: He was excused to have accessed the first site, since it had the same name as one of the local products and, about a week ago, everybody around here went to see what it was all about