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chromatic (983)

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Journal of chromatic (983)

Friday April 06, 2007
02:40 AM

Ontological Problems

[ #32925 ]

Person X: Ahh, you must be a programmer. Did you know that Shiny Happy Fun-time Framework is the best thing ever!

c: Why?

Person X: Because it does things impossible in other frameworks!

c: I did all of those things in 1998, and I wasn't the only one. I read it in a book.

Person X: And it's all possible because of Super Glorious People's Language!

c: I did all of those things in 1998 in another language.. Several other people did that in at least 2004 in several other languages before you'd heard of your language.

Person X: Only Super Glorious People's Language makes it possible! It is undeniable.

c: (I am not going to use the phrase "Turing equivalent" or, worse, "Turing complete". I am not going to use the phrase "Turing equivalent" or, worse, "Turing complete".) ~sigh~ Okay, tell me why. What features of the language make it possible?

Person X: The whole thing! It is impossible with any other language!

c: No, seriously. If what you say is true, there must be some feature your language has that other languages lacks. Programming languages are, more or less, determinate. (I am not going to use the phrase "Turing equivalent" or, worse, "Turing complete.") If one language has a feature and another language lacks that feature, it should be possible to identify that feature!

Person X: It is not about features! It is a pleasing gestalt! If only you used it you would know that you are a hundred times more productive and you would emit the springtime odor of lilacs!

c: I have used both the language and the framework, but that's not the point. If you can't identify a point of difference, I can only doubt your assertion. It's a basic ontological proof. If there is a difference between two languages, you should be able to identify it. If you cannot identify a difference, I suspect either that there is none or you do not have the experience and understanding to discuss this subject in any interesting detail. Don't make me explain syllogisms.

Person X: It is true however! Most people in the world know this to be true!

c: Okay, you're not capable of having a serious conversation. That's good. That's fine. Look, I'm just going to walk to the other side of the airport now. You keep your flower.

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