Turns out that the first email clicked on will produce its body in a popup; every one after that appears to attempt to crash the system. Christless. I can't be doing that every time I have to try to run this thing, and I can't take it home right now -- I'm here until shortly before Laura gets done work, around 6. I can't look at it afterwards, because she and I are going to see _Die Another Day_. (I'm a Bond fanatic from way back.)
What's a geek to do? Learn some more debugger tricks, that's what. If I can figure out precisely why this thing's dying like a turtle on its back in the middle of the highway, I can stop it from doing so with a liberal application of typing and thinking.
Other than that, the Linux server idea is on the back burner while I figure out a scripting language for a remote-control application. The software provides a way to create unrestricted administrator access to user machines, with the one tiny problem that the user can disconnect the administrator. (This is really kind of a major oversight on the part of the developers, IMHO.) Regardless, it comes with some mutant scripting language, so I'll attempt to learn it, find out if there are any event handlers for administrator access being terminated from the user's end and some way to promptly reconnect said administrator.