My father is of the belief that my "calling" in life is writing, that I'm meant to be churning out novels. To some degree, I believe that myself. I've been unable to really write any significant fiction for at least three or four years now, though, and one of the reasons is orbital mechanics.
I don't grok orbital mechanics. Never did. Apparently never will, it seems. And it bothers me that I'm going to charge off into the world of fiction without the tiniest clues about whether or not planets can be where I'm tossing them. It bothers me so much that it's one of the reasons I stopped writing.
Not writing has given me time to do other things (code) but has reduced drastically my ability to communicate effectively. No longer can I improvise a stream of unmarred English, no -- now it's nearly stuttering speech, stops and gaps and wrong words where once it was just flow, flow, flow.
So I also worry a little that I've lost the knack altogether, that I'll never really be able to write the way I used to and talk the way I used to. I hope, in some fashion, that I can do these things again, and if it requires writing from time to time, so be it. Maybe something good will come out.
I have no grand point. I muse upon these notions because I spent a few minutes reading a posthumous interview with Philip K. Dick, which I reproduced on my personal wiki because, well, I don't know if it's going to be there in a year, and I think my wiki's got a good chance of being something I could replicate at home or in a more permanent fashion. That, plus, it's damn cool. It reads pretty real, considering that it's all a series of quotes spliced with fabricated questions.
Philip K. Dick was always the kind of writer I wanted to be. (Well, him and a few other people -- Connie Willis, Alfred Bester, Roger Zelazny (within this same theme, Zelazny finished writing a book that Bester started before he died -- posthumous collaboration.)) Still is. If I can write, I want to write about the future as I see it, and (ideally) I want to make the future as I see it.