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chaoticset (2105)

chaoticset
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JAPH. (That's right -- I'm not Really Inexperienced any more.)

I'm not just here, I'm here [perlmonks.org], and here [javajunkies.org] too, I ramble randomly in my philosophical blog [blogspot.com] and my other blog [blogspot.com]. Soon I'll come in a convenient six-pack.

Journal of chaoticset (2105)

Friday April 25, 2003
02:16 PM

Bad Things? Feh! I Cackle In The Face Of Bad Things

[ #11851 ]
Yeah, right.

I'm practically unemployed at this point. My job isn't providing me with any hours to work (which could be taken as a warning sign of layoffs, but who the hell knows), my volunteer position dried up due to my attempts to locate employment, and the internship is, at present, questionable.

Enh. There'll be bad times.

I've been applying for anything and everything I can find in the hopes of locating a method of eating in the next month or so.

I've been trying to convince myself that I should take the time that I haven't been working and try to write again, write code or learn something or try to write part of a screenplay or something. Anything. C++ is becoming interesting to me, almost enough that I think I can learn to write proficient code in it. More on that should something come of it.

Recently got the CSS and XML pocket guides as a gift, and the CSS one proved its usefulness within hours. The XML one will be a bit longer -- I'm still unable to grok much of _Learning XML_. Ah well -- nothing pressing on the horizon pushing me to work with it.

Tired. Tired, but I have to go jack up a car (so it can be fixed by an acquaintance) and move an air purifier down two flights of stairs (so it can be retrieved by said acquaintance).

On the up side, I have a shitload of coffee to drink.

I've started to wonder (having lots of free time suddenly will do that to you), mostly about my psychological well-being. To be very, very honest, I have no doubts in my mind that I could finish out the whole rest of my life with the mindset I currently have.

My doubts center around whether I'll succeed at the things I want to succeed at (screenplays, novels, applications).

To that end, I've started watching myself. I've started questioning myself.

I've started to ask the question of whether or not I could be bipolar, as has been opined by some other people in the past.

The problem, of course, is what psych professors used to refer to as "college student's disease", where you find evidence of the symptomology of anything you study in yourself. Lots of the symptoms of bipolar disorders are present in a great deal of the population in muted form, IMHO.

The response my mind has about the issue is, of course, to seek psychiatric evaluation.

I guess I'll figure something out along those lines.

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