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bondage-chICK (4932)

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hi im Andrea im 15 years old and i live in the state of (depression) ohio. I love music and i listen to so many different bands. i like rock,punk,metal,emo,screamo,underground,hardcore, and punk rock styles. probably more. um lets see i could tell you that i get labeled alot. its kinda sad people dont know me so they judge me. you probably judged me based on my screen name. uh oh thats chicks screen name has bondage in it.ha. that would be funny if you did. i have reoccuring teenage depression and i do cut. i guess you could call me a "cutter" although im getting better and im not cuttng so much anymore. yes back to the labeling right. i get labled goth-emo-punk...etc. i am either none or all of those. i am who ever you think i am. im a vegetarian because i feel it is in-humane to eat animals for human survival. further more Davey Havok is god. for all you sad, sad people that dont know who he is, he is the lead singer of afi. A.F.I. that is. stands for a fire inside. davey havok is god -L
Monday April 26, 2004
05:56 PM


afi_atreyufan is my screen name at livejournal.
Tuesday April 20, 2004
09:23 PM

im sorry for the inconvenience i didnt know

im sorry for the inmconvenience i had no idea what this site was about and merely used it as a journal to write my thoughts down. im deeply sorry if i scared anyone and you odnt have to worry im leaving this site for good and ill never bother you again. once again i did not do this on purpose forgive me. im now on livejournal im sorry! i had no idea i just thought this was a site for writing a journal. sorry -Andrea
Monday April 19, 2004
06:28 PM


okay about last night ill explain. now i haven't cut myself in a week and one day but last night i almost did. i was so close. i was sitting on my bed with the music playing (atreyu-lipgloss and black) i had the blade pressed against my skin but not hard. it didnt cut nor damage my skin in anyway. i wanted so bad to cut. i just wanted to bleed and feel better. i threw the blade and cryed, i sobbed. i knew that by hurting myself i was hurting others. not alot of others maybe, but i knew my few friends would be mad at me. in perticular john. i promised him that i would try really really really really hard not to cut, i knew he'd be mad at me if i did. i think he's the only thing that kept me from cutting last night. if not the only then it was peyton,eric and john. you guys im trying really hard. i havent cut yet. so dont be mad. i was close but didnt. close but no cigar as some say. thats a stupid saying if you ask me. god its hot in this house. by the way sorry for not calling or answering my phone john i didnt get minutes yet but im getting them today hopefully for sure. i'll call you tonite if its not to late. im still panicing about the history test wendsday too. oh god. im finished with my homework cept hisory which im dreading. okay good bye all. love ya. -andrea
06:20 PM


whoa it just hailed! and down poured now i think its over.
03:59 PM

icky today

today was pretty bad becuase school started again and i no longer had the pleasure of staying up till 2 talking to john or sleeping in till noon. i awoke at 4ish then fell asleep till 6:30 took my shower, had a liht breakfest and was out the dorr by eight, still managing to catch part of the rock countdown on mtv2. school was bad finding out i have a huge essay test in histroy on wendsday was no fun especialy considering i got half of the notes today which make no sense at all. i have alot of hooomework and i know im complaing and you guys dont wanna hear it but i figured id just write it all here.
Sunday April 18, 2004
04:20 PM

25 minutes later

its really really really hot outside. okay its makin me wanna go to the beach oddly enough. probably still be really cold though. oh well. john is cool. he knows this already, but know ill just let everyone else know too. my vacation sucked but i guess thats my own fault and amandas mom cuz she wouldn't let her do ANYTHING. oh well, again. good bye
03:55 PM


today is boring and depressing, i dont even know why i bother writing in this journal. quite pointless if you ask me. because know one ever reads it. lets see today i went for a walk with olivia and i bought handcuffs which are wicked awesome. i got a hello kitty water bottle thingy too. its cooler then it sounds. (luke-warm)and we had lunch at mcdonalds, ew, then we went home well i went home and she went to her home. now im sitting here wishing i were doing something, anything. manda's mom is over protective, nikki i hate, well yeah pretty much. olivia and me already hung out today and it wasnt that fun. so that pretty much leaves me by myself. im over heating in these temperatures and afraid to go outside and get a tan. i like to stay pale. umm yeah im bored and depressed but thats usual right. sometiems i wish someone would find me, and help me, john is trying really hard to help me, and i thank him sooo much for it. havent cut in a week. arent ya proud of me? love you. bye -andrea