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blazar (7356)

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Journal of blazar (7356)

Tuesday August 21, 2007
04:47 PM

Saddest day and some relief

[ #34174 ]

Yesterday was certainly the saddest day ever since I got diagnosed cancer. It's been terrible up until this evening: crisis, fights, lies, but you see... I can now understand - lies told because in some sense it was right to tell them... to cover a truth that's hard to cope with... just as hard as reality. And reality is there, unlike a dream it won't vanish after you wake up. But reality is also wonderful, and then it's nice that it's a like a dream that doesn't vanish... and in reality sometimes you, and surely I, have to fight. But that's a fight you can feel rooted deep inside yourself the reason why to fight it. And eventually, the truth. Eventually, something you can make sense of. Less sadness? Oh no! Something that you can manage, though. I want to shot my destiny. Eventually, some relief. Some relief: fears and doubts were worse, believe that. Some relief at last.

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  • I appreciate your introspection. Good luck to you. With luck, good attitude, and good care, some do amazingly well beating it.

    It seems to me the genes for getting it and genes for getting over it are independent -- my kin are almost all "Survivors" [5+ years post-treatment; which reminds me to schedule the dermatologist ...]

    # I had a sig when sigs were cool
    use Sig;
  • Hi Blazar
    It's shocking alright. I sure hope you recover. Some people do - keep that in mind.
    Often I tell myself, always tell the truth! But then I think of doctors who sometimes don't tell their patients. Why is that? Well, I think the doctor knows there is no hope, but they avoid telling that to the patient so the patient does not get even more depressed that they already are.
    So, if the doctor tells you, there may well be some hope! As I said - I sure hope so.