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Whammo (2555)

Whammo
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http://www.coept.us/

BCWarnock

Journal of Whammo (2555)

Sunday June 06, 2004
07:54 PM

Jurisprudential

[ #19122 ]

"And now I'm standing on the corner, all the world's gone home
Nobody's changed, nobody's been saved
And I'm feeling cold and alone
I guess I'm lucky, I smile a lot
But sometimes I wish for more than I've got"
-- Moving Pictures

So I celebrate the installation of the new microwave by, of course, going out to eat. Not that that was what was intended. I actually went to Savage Fest. (That's Savage Fest, not a festival of savages, nor a festival for Fred Savage.)

Not that Savage Fest is what I intended, either. I actually went to ask a friend of mine about the previously ranted electric stove situation. I had simply forgotten the Fest was this weekend. (Actually, I went over Saturday, and was reminded it was this weekend, although it was rained out that day. Between yesterday and today, I forgot again.) He wasn't home yesterday; he went to see Troy. (His critique: "I'm surprised that critics aren't commenting on how blatantly anti-war it is.") So anyway, I went over again today, and went down to Savage Fest.

So after some funnel cake, but no sausages, it was off on an errand, and then to the Burger King for a quick bite to eat. As I'm sitting in BK, I find myself pondering their various slogans, including "flame-broiled".

In their commercials, they show patties of mangled moo-meat on a conveyor belt over flames; flames that touch the meat, I might add. That's not broiling, that's grilling. Broiling is a dry cooking method where the majority of the heat comes via radiant energy from above. There's no convection, and about the same amount of conduction, which is to say very little. But that's not the point of this ramble. The point is, if almost all of the cooking is via radiant heat, then who cares whether it's flame-broiled or electric-broiled or nuclear-broiled?

But I digress. This entry wasn't supposed to be about broiling. It was supposed to be about those stupid warnings that you find in product instructions. Here's my favorite for the new microwave:

Do not use your microwave/convection oven to dry newspapers.

The most baffling warning, given that it must be mounted to a cabinet above it:

Do not store anything directly on top of the microwave over surface when the microwave oven is in operation.

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