use Perl

• Basically everyone else deciding it was time to quit, too.
• Shockingly Sane HR Lady cornering the president and VP and haranguing them for a solid ninety minutes (causing them to look and act like obnoxious fourth graders being yelled at by Teacher), starting with "I told you this would happen, I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN! I said how to STOP IT HAPPENING, with SIMPLE COMPETENCE, and you just spaced out and did NOTHING, OVER AND OVER..." and ending with "I don't know WHY I tell YOU PEOPLE anything. It's pointless, isn't it? POINTLESS. So go away now, go, go!"
• The day after I left, I. R. Sisamdin logging into the Big Server That Makes Everything Go, and deleting the Account That Makes Everything Go, about a week after I spent an hour going over the list of Everything That Goes, and explaining how it was all very subtly interconnected and if even one process stops running regularly, everything will go to Kabluistan. (Shades of: "Now Homer, don't you eat that pie!")
  But delete he did. Without deleting all the files that that account owned. Nor deleting that account's crontab file. Ten minutes passed, and then processes started screaming bloody murder. So he created a new account with the same name (but different home dir and UID of course), which only made everything angrier. He then had to hide under his desk and put his coat over his head and cry "I WANT MY MOOOOM!"
• Bobo, the VP in charge of billing, makework, and breaking things, with a personality and effectiveness comparable to the backwards-talking dwarf from Twin Peaks, went and disappeared for days, and then reappeared, and then left for good, after which it was discovered that he hadn't been sending out bills to clients, and also hadn't been paying the utility bills. He had outlived his welcome by the entire duration of his existence on Earth.

My only regret is that my resignation email was basically "As I mentioned to you in a dream I had five years ago, I am now leaving town to go live in a yurt in Zambia. Bye bye!", simply because I knew that if I sat down and listed even three of the dozen reasons that working at Bobodyne was sheer hell, I would have a stroke and die on the spot.

Altho I was tempted to re-use a friend of mine's letter of resignation:

"It is with a heavy heart and fond memories that I make this decision. The time I have spent here has been invaluable, and you all are so unique. That makes it all the more difficult to say this, but I must: FUCK YOU ALL, I QUIT."