So my house is being sort of refitted with new plumbing, which is surprisingly less of a hassle than I expected -- for me at least, the one who isn't doing any real work. But it means that the plumber and various contractors are constantly walking in and out. It's a bit distracting, but they're all nice guys, and they are exceedingly polite about knocking before entering, even if it's the dozenth time they've walked in today. Not even the cat minds them.
About noon today, I hear a knock at the door, and the cat fled. I should have known something was amiss about that, but by time I got to the door, it was too late: Door-to-door religion people, overdressed, and carrying thick bibles!
They were Jeehova's Witnesses, earnestly (and apropos of nothing) quoting some pap about how love is the root of all joy and health and pain and suffering. "THE root? So ALL pain and suffering is caused by love?" Non sequiturs followed. They were nice and said they'd come back later, but I mentioned that I have a very erratic schedule, and so they'd never know if I'd be awake. In a parallel universe where Jehova's Witnesses are shy Japanese people, they would have taken that to mean "GO AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK", all without an unpleasant word being exchanged. But this is not that universe. (Altho I do mostly like this universe --I wouldn't live anywhere else!)
So now I worry they may return. I want to say magic words that will make them whisk away without an unpleasant scene. I mean, I don't want to have to resort to simian behavior (screaming, poo-flinging) to make them go away.
I have been advised that the Jehova's Witnesses have a morbid fear of the occult, and that amusement (performance art) would ensue if I said "I was just consulting my HELLO KITTY TAROT DECK and it said there would be strangers with strange news -- ARE YOU THEM? Let's see what else the cards have to say! Here, pick one out of the deck..."
Now I gotta find where I put the deck.
Is there some other easier thing I can do? Like just say "Sorry, I was just baking a DEVIL'S FOOD CAKE!" to make them quietly shuffle away?