I have subjugated the perlbugtron with a swift kill -9, and raised unto the throne Arty the Second. There remain a few orders of business, including improving the new leige's wardrobe, and assuring the masses follow.
The journey to his lair was long and harsh, 18 hours through a coniferous forest filled with dangerous beasties of the lowest countenance and utmost danger. I was laywaid several times by quicksand with the temper of a visigoth. Oh the daring straights I traversed.
When I was too tired to trudge further, I found that I was close to beasts abode. Pushing on, I resisted collapsing, until I had located a cleft where I would be safe until the morn.
-- Robert the Dragon Slayer