I haven't talked with her since the big fiasco and after reading hfb's response and talking with some friends, I realize my only role (since I don't have any financial ties or responsibilities) is one of support. It's either that or risk alienating her (which I prolly already have done or am borderline-close to with all my years of abuse [non-violent];)).
So party on... oh, did I mention she wants to have the wedding in March? 4 months from now? Yikes! Better get a move on!