use Perl

Last night, I was out at a local club which had just started a Brit pop night. It was rather hilarious because the people who started it are pretty heavily into the Portland Goth scene, so a bunch of goths showed up, realized that they couldn't figure out how to dance to "happy" music, and left.

After the club closed, several of us decided to have breakfast at an all-night restaurant called "The Roxy". It's a fun restaurant, the staff has an attitude, and the rather large Christ on a stick (er, crucifix) with the neon halo just adds to the interesting mix. This mix is so popular, in fact, that there's often a line outside the door at 3:00 AM. As we were waiting outside for a table we noticed a very drunk man clutching a very masculine female. Since we were in an area of town that's known for drag queens, it wasn't too unusual.

After being seated, ordering, eating, chatting, etc., I realized that the man and /(?:wo)?man/ we had spotted outside were at the table next to us. After a while, the cross-dresser said to the man, in a very loud and confused voice, "You're not gay?"

All I could think was "oops".