My cell phone works. It shouldn't have. Today, long before I had coffee, I touched it and sent it flying to the floor where it flew to pieces. I reassembled it, but even relatively simple tasks like that seem to be beyond me before that first cup of joe. In fact, making that first cup is difficult prior to actually consuming it.
Speaking of things not to do before coffee: shopping. I was running late the other day and stopped at the grocery store for breakfast. Never, never, never do this before coffee. Especially if you're me. My coworkers were trying to figure out why I was eating toasted blueberry bagels smothered in salmon flavored cream cheese.
Minor rant for the day: smokers (of which I confess to being one).
We smokers have to be some of the collectively stupidist people you're likely to meet. I'm not just talking about the obvious health risks or the expense of the smokes. No, I'm talking about that early morning pre-coffee stage. I, like so many smokers, stagger out of bed, take a shower, brush my teeth. Then I have a smoke and effectively put myself right back where I was before showering or brushing my teeth. Either the smokes go or I give up on the illusion of basic hygiene. Tough call.