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Ovid (2709)

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Stuff with the Perl Foundation. A couple of patches in the Perl core. A few CPAN modules. That about sums it up.

Journal of Ovid (2709)

Friday August 05, 2005
08:38 PM

The Joke That Must Not Be Told

[ #26133 ]

So Ben Tilly and I were walking along, heading to the DoubleTree lounge, when we stumbled across Clive, bassplayer, and another gentleman whose name I did not catch. They convinced us to hit a dive bar instead instead of the DoubleTree.

While at the dive bar, we decided to go the unusual route of getting completely blotto. Somehow the subject of bad jokes came up and both Ben and Clive swore they knew the worst joke. I told Clive that I was willing to bet that Ben had the worst. That's when Clive told me he would tell his bad joke first and then I could decide whether or not I wanted to make the bet. I said "yes."

Clive whispered a very short joke to me.

I immediately declared Clive the winner.

I have some good friends with whom I'm willing to share it, but that's about it. I suspect Ben will never repeat the joke (I told it to him), but somehow, the conversation devolved to the point of naming various people to whom we would never tell the joke. If you corner Clive somewhere, ask him to tell you the worst joke that he knows. I'm willing to bet you'll not repeat it sober, unless, of course, you're Clive.

Ben, unfortunately, has told some folks that I was willing to pay good money to see their reactions upon hearing it. I, however, was very, very drunk when I said this (no, I wasn't driving), but I'm still quite embarrassed.

(As a side note, despite the suggestion of scandalous humor, the joke is quite appropriate if you have the right audience. It's not some horribly racist or sexist humor.)

And no, I still am not going to repeat it.

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  • The name of the last guy was John. I also learned from that night that Americans should not bother to play pool against Englishmen. There is just no point.

    Oh, about the joke, you're right that I don't intend to repeat it widely. And it was not exactly fair for me to pass along the fact that you had made the offer. However given your reaction, I'm mildly ashamed to admit that, given the chance to do it again, I'd have a hard time resisting temptation.

  • I've got my own personal "worst joke in the world", and would be interested in knowing how it rates.


  • Wenn is das Nunstuck git und Slotemeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwalt gersput!
  • Not only do I think I already know the joke, I'm willing to assert that the rule that it not be told has been blown to kingdom come. Penn Jillette and some other guy have a new movie out whose title is based on the punchline.

    -DA []

    • Ah, someone was telling me about that film. If my friend related the story correctly, than no, it's not the same joke.