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Beatnik (493)

Beatnik
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http://www.ldl48.org/

A 29 year old belgian who likes Mountain Dew, Girl Scout Cookies, Tim Hortons French Vanilla Flavoured Cappucinno, Belgian beer, Belgian chocolate, Belgian women, Magners Cider, chocolate chipped cookies and Perl. Likes snowboarding, snorkling, sailing and silence. Bach can really cheer him up! He still misses his dog.

Project Daddy of Spine [sf.net], a mod_perl based CMS.

In his superhero time (8.30 AM to 5.30 PM), he works on world peace.

Journal of Beatnik (493)

Tuesday May 20, 2003
08:05 PM

Sorry seems to be the hardest word

[ #12337 ]
I lost a very close friend... not today, not recently but a while ago. It just took me some time to realize it. How? I fucked up! BIGTIME! as I did on some previous occasions. I hurt people, forced them into not being themselves. This is all my fault and I paid a very high price for my mistakes. This can't be fixed, unfortunatly. It's a very personal, private and complex issue and I'm still half confused by what exactly happened... What I know is that I lost someome I deeply cared about. Although we still talk, this isn't going to change anything. I can't go back, I can't rewind. Talking doesn't really change anything at this point. I will wrap this up as clean and quiet as possible. This will be my last entry about all this. I wish to send my sincere apologies to that one person. I know you used to read this, but I'm not sure you still do. I'm sorry for hurting you. I wish I could change anything but I can't. I want to thank you for the wonderfull time I had with you. You were the last person I wanted to see hurt. Yet I did and I have no excuse for doing that. The only person I'm angry at is myself, since I am the only person who could've prevented this from happening. This is not the time for new chances.. seconds, thirds, fourths, any chances. I will hopefully learn a valuable lesson out of this. I only wish I didn't have to learn it. Forgive me if I don't spontaneously start talking to you, since you do know well why I'd rather not.

Take care
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