use Perl

Steve Squyres is the principal investigator of the Mars Exploration Rover mission. He appeared on Colbert Report. (This episode was a while ago, but I'm only just catching up on some of my weblog reading.) You know how Colbert sometimes steamrolls his guests with his bald-faced absurdities… well Squyres didn’t flinch once. Choice quotes:

1. Colbert: Tonight’s guest is a pioneer in Mars exploration. Hopefully, tonight he’ll explain how they faked a space landing there too.

1. Colbert: Have you found evidence of water there?
2. Squyres: We have found evidence that there was water below the surface and that water flowed across the surface, yes.
3. Colbert: Have you found any evidence that there might be some oil?
4. Squyres: No, not a bit, not a bit I’m sorry.
5. Colbert stares insistently.
6. Squyres: Not a trace.
7. Colbert: Because that might come in handy.

1. Squyres: We intended these things to last for 90 days; today is day 863 and the mission is still going on…
2. Colbert whistles; applause.
3. Squyres: …they’re starting to get a little worn out, but of course they’re getting worn out in different ways.
4. Colbert: Have you guys thought about designing for GM?
5. Squyres: You know, maybe we should talk to them about that.
6. Colbert: Because those things run out pretty quick.

1. Colbert: What other planets have you explored?
2. Squyres: Personally I’ve been involved in missions to Venus, Jupiter, and Saturn.
3. Colbert: What’s your favorite planet?
4. Squyres: Earth. Chuckles, nods. Earth.
5. Colbert: Mmhmm. Because America’s here?

Great fun.